The road to HOE is paved with good intentions

The last time I entered Hell On Earth (HOE) i.e., my friendly, local DPS office, to renew my driver's license was right before it expired on my thirtieth birthday.  That was serendipitous because no matter how bad the picture, every time I looked at it over the next several years, I would see my 29 year old self smiling back at me  (I was having a bit of trouble with the upcoming Big 3-0). I woke up extra early that morning, took a longer shower usual - even shaved my legs and pits, spent more time on my hair and makeup than I normally did, and dressed in my brand new, carefully thought out, dry cleaned outfit.  I went to the license department, had my mugshot taken then anxiously awaited  the arrival of my new driver's license . It was delivered a couple of weeks later, and I was pleasantly surprised.  Although it wasn't the best picture I'd ever had taken,  it was better than all of my previous mugshots.  Over the years, it has been nice not having to hold my thumb over the picture when showing someone my ID. 

Fast forward four years: I renew my driver's license online for the first time.  You can do that here in Texas if you have not had any tickets since your last renewal. It's so easy and convenient and I was also able to update my address. That was a real handy feature for me during our *6 moves in 7 years.* The next time my license was up for renewal was during that time so, I renewed online again and updated my address too since the address that was listed was of the place we'd lived 3 moves ago. Even really handy features lose their appeal with overuse.

Over the years my son, 3, has bugged me about getting a new photo taken for my license. He would say, "You don't even look like that anymore!  Your hair is shorter/longer/lighter/darker/cuter/uglier than it was then!" But over the last couple of years he has been saying, " You don't even look like that anymore!  Your hair is shorter/longer/lighter/darker/cuter/uglier than it was then and you were twenty-nine Mom.  You're not 29 now! Go update your driver's license picture!!" When he was 16 and I took him to get his first license and he told me I should renew mine then too. I intended to but but I hadn't prepped that day so I didn't.

Since then I have had really good intentions to voluntarily enter HOE before my birthday, which was in November when it expired, to renew my license and have a new picture taken. Because, even I can admit my hair is shorter/longer/lighter/darker/cuter/uglier than it was then and I'm actually closer to 50 than I am to 29, (I threw up in my mouth a little as I typed that last sentence.) I have come to accept that I will be disappointed with the picture no matter how good it is because in the old one

I WAS 29 FUCKING YEARS OLD!!

But the road to hell is paved with good intentions indeed. The week of my birthday I logged on to the DPS website to renew my license because I knew there was no way I was going to make it to the office and get it done before it expired.  I figured I could visit HOE one upcoming day before work, freshly made up, and hope the new picture was at least decent.  I entered all the necessary information and clicked submit . A message popped up telling me I must renew my license at my friendly, local DPS office. There was no reason given but I assume it's because they want to see your face at least once a decade to make sure you are who you say you are and all that shit.

Obviously, my license was going to expire before I had the chance to renew it.  I have continued assisting in paving the road to HOE since then for various reasons: I didn't want to go during the holidays, it has been too cold, I have been too tired, I've looked too shitty, I haven't felt like sitting in a waiting room with a bunch of people who are just as pissed as I am about being there for 2 or 3 damn hours and a few dozen other reasons. 

I actually had kinda forgotten that my license was expired until last night when Babe sent me text asking for my driver's license number and expiration date. (Please do not send me emails, texts, voice mails or comments advising me to not give out personal information via text in case someone has actually kidnapped and held him at gunpoint while insisting he text me for all of our personal information.  I knew for sure it was Dennis so I felt perfectly safe sending the information.)  I sent him the info and his response was, "It's expired??"  He's cute like that sometimes.

Don't worry, I really intend to have this done by the end of the month.  And while I'm there I'm going to get the address updated to my current one; which has been my current one for over 2 years now.

Space for future license with a NOT 29 year old on it.






~Michizzle

*Future Blog*